Yet Another Reason Why Black People Don't Golf...

Quick Synopsis: "Winnie The Pooh" crashes the 2008 U.S. Senior Championship Open.

Reunited!(and it feels so good)

OMFG!!!!!! OMG! It has been so long! I miss my OjFresh! omg! It feels like I haven't been on here for months. I had mad people asking me did I discontinue my blog, and im finally here to say no i did not! I just finally got my internet and cable installed in the ny crib today! I kno rite? Like WTF!! So I feel like I have so much to tell! Well ill give u a list update, that should save me some time... and my fingers from future cases of carpal tunnel.
*Im an official Oasis Camp employee.
*I've Seen the Dark Knight...Twice.
*I Kissed a girl...and I hated it lol
*I've been sippin on 40s like they're medicine
*I rekindled my obsession for tracy chapman
*I finally found a good hairstylist in the S.Bronx who isn't Dominican.
*I made yet.... another gay male friend.
*My boo is diggin me more than ever this summer(Its gotta be that new baby love spray perfume I rock)
*I just found out the my aunt is not just a hippie singer, but a paranoid hippie singin biotch!(the mother agrees as well)
*I came wit yet another slammin slogan "Adieu Adieu...A Deuce"
*I can buy a dress at a lot store for 6 bucks, cut it up and make it work.
*Guys at my job...hawt.
*Girls at my job...haters.
*Santogold is forever and will always be my music soundtrack.
*I am finally capable of doing a split.
*Micky D's Sweet Teas are the new 7-11 Slurpees.
*I've come to the conclusion that everyone who resides in NY own a pair of Air Max 95's...even the homeless men.
*Drinking 30 minutes before going to see an imax movie= not a good idea.
*The #2 and the C train are my homies
So yea that pretty much sums up the hiatus term! So I officially announce OJFRESH is back on and Juicier than eva!!
-Flashback♥

Best,Best.

Im Luvin this song rite now. Missy's coming back ya'll, oh and the name of her album has finally been decided...it's Block Party. I know that's all simple and ish rite? But I mos def see this song as my summer 2008 boo lovin anthem. Cause everybody and they mama knows that my "Boo, Boo. He's The Best,Best"
Download Missy Elliott - Best, Best

Im Free!

So yea, your prolly wondering why I haven't left for NY yet. Cause Im pretty sure you've noticed me posting new stuff by the hour. Well, it's because I forgot that I had a court date, for a ticket I got a couple days ago. Because I was driving without my headlights on, so I got pulled over and was issued a warning for the headlights, but here's where the irony seeps in, I got the ticket for not having my license on me! smh, and What's even more crazy is that as the very time that I was stopped I was in the process of making a U-turn to go get my license. Look all I wanted was some cheap value menu Taco Bell, and instead I got a totally unecessary ticket. But I went to the court house this morning, and I didn't even realize it was literally a block away from my house. So I get there and Im all dressed up in my khaki pants, and a white blouse. Im tryna remember all the court house rules; don't look trashy, not too much jewelry, definitely not too much makeup, etc. So im all Judge Judy ready. I get into the court house, side note:that was my first time ever having to go into a court house. So I get into the court house, and im waiting behind just one other female in a RN's uniform. Im standing there and all the while some ghetto-fied white boy is whispering to his friend "damn, you see that sh.. her ass is phat" Know I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but seeing that I was the only well...endowed female in there I figured it was about me. (After I was leaving the court house I later found out that he was therefore talking about me, seeing that this John Doe gawked very heavily at my applebottom as I was exiting). Anyway so it was finally my turn and the lady behind the glass window gave me this look as if I wasn't supposed to be there or something. So I tell her I was issued a ticket for not having my license and registration, she then tells me "I'll be right with you". So I proceed to the wooden benches, but then she yells "No miss, you can stay right there" So after my little embarrasing stint she finally then asks for my license and insurance card, I hand it to her, 2 seconds later she gives it back and says "Your dismissed from all charges, your free to go." I was so f'n excited! I didn't have to pay $45 bucks outta my mother's pocket. So now I had enough to finally go buy my ipod shuffle charger! yays! So I bounced outta there went over to the car, looked back at that lil ol' courthouse and said "I'm Free Bitches!" Take that Mr. Police Man!

B-A-N-A-N-A-S,

Yea so about 15 minutes ago I was cleaning out my closet aka getting rid of all my naugty stuff just in case my mom decided to be nosy while I was away in New York. So yea, I was cleaning out my closet and guess what I find, my novelty Nike sneaker box filled with all my naughty tid-bits so I had the usual; handcuffs,blindfold,warming gel...anyway I happened to come upon(no pun intended) my stash of condoms. Now I have many that I've acquired through my college career, mainly from the annual Sex Ed fairs. So I have Trojans, Lifestyles,Durex, and Trustex basically every popular brand. I also have flavored ones; mint, strawberry,chocolate,vanilla,coke flavored,peach and banana!I actually hate flavored condoms. So I threw them away actually, too many horrible memories. I had to learn the hard way that you should not have sex while using a flavored condom, omfg the discomfort is so unbearable. This I learned from being with my idiot of an ex-boyfriend. He thought it was cute to bring home a grape flavored jimmy from south beach, i mean it made my piece smell pretty sweet, but it made it feel like I was having sex with a human cactus. Look to make a long story short, no flavored condoms in bed ladies...and gents!

Baywatch The Musical?

So here's some news fellow America's Got Talent and Mr. Berlin Wall himself, David Hasselhoff tells AOL's the TV Tattler that he wanted to produce and Star in the "Baywatch Musical" Now I can't even imagine what that's gonna be like. Well actually I can most certainly imagine what that's gonna be like I just don't feel like peeing in my panties rite now. I mean seriously can you imagine? What, are they seriously gonna let some half naked bimbos in god awful orange one-pieces strum along on any Broadway stage? and what would the songs be about? Ha! Stephen Sondheim would be front row, giving the middle finger to every act. But I mean seriously although it would probably be one big bomber, you would go wouldn't you? To be honest... I would, just so I could illegally take pics of it then post them up on here, for you all to laugh at! okay maybe I'm being a little cruel, Baywatch wasn't that bad of a show. It had some of the highest viewer ratings for a 90s television "drama". But then again half of those viewer ratings came from 34 year old men still living at home with their parents collecting star wars paraphernalia and still fantasizing about the day when they'll get their first kiss. Got Damn! Im a mean [btch.] lol

What Happened Mama!

smh...

Aim 6.8 Upgrade

Ok so about 5 minutes ago, I just upgraded from Aim 6.5 to Aim. 6.8. And now its got me wondering, is there really a difference? minus the numbers of course. What possessed me to upgrade? Cause I know damn well the only difference is that Aim 6.8 lets me change my status on some toolbar that's inside of my web browser. Yippie? Idk, I guess I just did it to brag to people that yet again Im up on new technology, and that makes me feel cool. But you know what? I actually think the coolest people with Aim are the ones who still have the 1st version. Like my Indie-Queen homie Mandy, she still has the first version. Now I don't know if its because she lacks knowledge of the advancements of Aim or just because she secretly knows that when people come over and see her computer screen, they envy her oh so heavy coolness. Which then results in them going home and downgrading to Aim 2.0. I guess I just wanna be like Mandy except I'd be the Mandy that always has the latest version. So im signing in and absolutely nothing looks different. However I can now listen to aol radio while im instant messaging. But isn't that what my iTunes is for? And now im trying to figure how to change the radio station, cause they got me listening to some Peter Frampton ballad. I swear I didn't even know who Peter Frampton was until I upgraded. OMFG! they don't even have a Hip-Hop station, let alone an R&B station, so now im forced to listen to the Top Pop station eww. Okay well i've just setteled with Fresh 100- another teeny bopper Pop station, but hey I was tricked into it, it said Fresh. Should've known aol wasn't that cool yet. Well anyways im gonna spend the next 15 minutes or so, tryna figure out my 2 new features, then im prolly gonna change my aim buddylist font and colors and then go on with my life.... which is AIM. [chuck a deuce]

I Hated watching Sex and The City

There's this website PostSecret, well its more of a blog. It showcases several secrets that people send, anonymously, on the backs of postcards. It's like the perfect site for a nosy person like myself. It actually makes it more intriguing to me because I have absolutely no idea who sent it or who it is about. I wanna do that on here, but I doubt anybody's about to tell me their deepest darkest secret. So how about we do this, you tell me your biggest Guilty Pleasure, something that you do but are to embarrassed to do around other people. Like here Ill start it off I already told you that my secret, hated "Sex and The City" in fact never watched a single episode, but before I get jumped....My Guilty Pleasure is singing classic rock ballads at Karaoke! ok your turn!

3 Artists.One Song.

What do you get when you mix Santogold, Pharrell and Julian Casablancas(front man of the strokes)? I'll tell you what you get, one rockin ass song! They're new song "Drive-Thru" is fire and you can download it here, for free at converse.com. They also are going to premiere the video there too!

What you Gonna Do When They Come For You!

So lately I've been having this lil obsession over much older, brunette, shaggy beard, hipsters(lol sike nah) but ive been obsessing over much older, brown-haired, shaggy 5o'clock shadow having, white, bad boy celebs. I don't know what it is, could it be that they're so much more experienced. Like if I had to spend a nite with Robin Thicke or Robert Downey Jr. Im gonna go wit the Downey. Omg! I don't know what it is but ever since Iron Man, he's just been gettin hotter and hotter. It could be that crazy ass smile, or those psychotic killer eyes, or even those intriguing crows feet wrinkles, but then again it could be this heatwave but i think im in official obsession mode.
Honorable Mentions:

The Substitute 2:School's Out

So yea, my daddy told me about this today, and I had to check it out. So basically what we have here is a substitute teacher who got into a fight, no my bad, a brawl with a student. Actually this student was in In School Suspension aka I.S.S(which by the way is so dumb. I had it back in highschool. I bet you if bad ass kids were given the old fashioned send your ass home to get your ass whopped for acting up suspension, then im positive this lil "brawl" wouldn't have even happened) so anywho, back to the topic at hand. The Substitute teacher was watching the I.S.S kids and apparently the student (in the pink shirt) told the substitute teacher(in the white shirt) that she was going to snatch her wig off. So yea that pretty much started it! yea a student recorded the video with their cellphone(dont you just love technology). I love how the newcaster's report it "coming to blows" and the one news man says "it looks like a hockey game" Um no Mr. News man it looks like a hood ass substitute teacher who wasn't takin no shit from a bad ass I.S.S girl.

Obama Got It!

So my boo! Barack Obama won the democratic nomination for the upcoming 2008 presidential elections!!! Hells yes! Hells Yes! Time for change! Somewhere that racist S-O-B Woodrow Wilson has rolled in his grave 80 billion times, because Obama made history today folks! 1st nominated black Presidential Candidate!! and hopefully 1st black PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!! Whew! TIME FOR CHANGE!!

The Wonder Twins!

all im gonna say is Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen via Full house, ain't got nothin on these two.... Sandy and Mandy!(their names)

Go Happy Valley!

So Popcrunch.com did a feature on the Top 50 Hottest Student Bodies at U.S. Universities and Colleges. So Penn State aka Happy Valley,my school, was ranked #37. Well they must have never seen me and my girls. But yea basically Penn State girls are Happy and can multi task with their feet |[hmmm...]| oh well. Wat ever. Arizona State took the crown(idk y?) and the University of Illinois took last(like a winner tho!)

Side note: Me and My |[penn state]| girlies.

America Runs on Racism.

So peep this, Rachael Ray is or in this case was, an endorser of Dunkin Donuts. Well she recently did an Ad for Dunkin Donuts and they pulled it. Why?, you may ask. Well because she was wearing a kaffiyeh aka a hipster scarf, around her neck during the ad. I mean wtf? and of course the news describes a kaffiyeh as "symbolic support for Muslim extremism and terrorism." Omfg! like if they haven't noticed everyone from Kanye West:to self proclaimed "Hipsters":to even Myself:
adorn a scarf like this or similar to it. Its so stupid. So what next? Are they gonna sue H&M for selling these scarves daily? Society is so hell-bent on other cultures. Even if that is what the scarf stands for I doubt Rachael Ray, Kanye West, and Myself have anything to do with terrorism. I mean so what if some Arabs wear the damn scarf, its not like they said that only terrorists wear it. Just because American Media mainstreamed the visuals of only terrorist leaders donning the scarf, now its not patriotic to wear them. Oh please, if it's that serious then why are there still thousands of people donning themselves in white robes and masks, but oh no! the media never covers that. I label this Rachael Ray Kaffiyeh Scandal...BullSh*t,BullSh*t,BullSh*t!

Nascar Rocks!...Not!

I hate Nascar! Emphasis on the HATE..It's just so dumb to me, all they do is drive around in overly-advertised adorned cars driving for 400 laps! I mean wtf! If everybody is wondering why gas prices rise every 3 days, its because of Nascar! But yea I turned to the Fox channel about 7 minutes ago anticipating my weekly Sunday line-up of The Simpsons, King of The Hill, Family Guy and American Dad. But No, instead what was on? That's right Nascar! so Im thinking oh it just gonna push the tv schedule back about an hour...but oh nah! Nascar is on until 10 pm! that's the end of the Fox Sunday Lineup! And the worst part is Nascar has been on since 5 F$#@%*! Pm! So Im just really aggravated rite now cuz now I gotta wait until [adult swim] comes on at 11 pm for my Family Guy Fix. Thank God for the creative minds of [adult swim] for without them my fix would never have been possible.

What's in a Name?

I think being called a Bust It Baby is the worst "Term of Endearment" ever. And yet all the teenagers (and some grown ass woman) are adopting this word as their myspace profile name. Like I don't get it, being a Bust It Baby is not like being somebody's boo, or wifey. It just means that a guy has sex with you because your the sure girl that will give him the perfect...uhmmm... send off. Plus it just sounds nasty to be called a Bust It Baby, especially when Plies says it. Like I think every female that is self-labeled a B.I.B, just lowered the standards of themselves. Like c'mon would you really want to be known as a guys Bust It Baby or his Wifey? The choice America is yours! P.S. That song sucks anyway!

This Just In...

What do Kid Sister,Vampire Weekend,Santogold and Diplo all have in common?...Besides great music? They are all gonna be performing (live duh!!) at Central Park for Central Park's annual SummerStage! Yea I Just got the text from the homie!(Shout Out to Pheebs!) And the best part is...It's Free! For all u lil cheap asses out there this is great news (especially for me) Yup so Im def gonna go!Cuz its gonna be Rockin'! Hells Yeah! Summer 2008 is definitely looking up to be Stellar Fresh!

SummerStage Schedule:
Saturday, June 14, 2008 | 4-8 p.m.
Vampire Weekend
Kid Sister
Free!!!

Sunday, July 20, 2008 | 3-7 p.m.
Santogold
Diplo
Plastic Little
A-Trak
Kid Cudi
Free!!!

WAKE UP!

So Um yea... "School Daze" is about to come on TV One in about 9 minutes! Hells Yea! Perfect time for me to perfect my E.U."Doin' The Butt" moves! Sex-A Sex-A!